Whispers That Tell a Story

Come on and lean in. Come on and get close. Are you comfy?

let me tell you a story. In a land far, far away there lived a princess..

Wait..stop..not another fairy tale. No, this one is not. This one is a real life story. This young lady dreamed of her prince in shining armor. She prayed daily for just the right one. At the young age of 20 their paths crossed while at Bible school. They fell in love, married at a young age and built a fairy tale life. 3 kids, a beautiful home, many wonderful friends.

Then the evil one came and stole the love. He left behind such pain and desolation. He robbed them of peace of mind and left them the burdens of life.

Does this sound at all like a story you have heard before?

BUT GOD! I have and will continue to claw and fight for the daily reminders that God has a plan, a purpose and He is so worth all of the glory my little life can shine for Him. My story will not end here.

I am so glad that my life has not stopped in the pain..but has moved on. The evil one does not like that I am pushing on. Each time I start my writing up, he has always fought me. This time, I have now lost my job and the transmission went out on my 15 year old high mileage vehicle. Not only am I living under someone else’s roof, but I am now car-less.

Having this latest thrown at me.. I screamed….I cried…and shouted at that evil one and told him in no uncertain terms would he succeed in pulling me away from my Jesus! Some days I feel like Job. Bring it on evil one…do your best..because my God is bigger then you! My God will supply all my needs in Christ Jesus!

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted”.

Matthew 5:4

“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”

Psalm 55:22

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7

Whispers of Frustrations

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

Do you ever get super frustrated when things don’t go your way? When you have the whole day planned out and just one catastrophe throws the day upside down and nothing gets done right. A flat tire on the way to the store, a spilled coffee just when heading out the door to work, or an accidental run in with an old chatty friend that takes way longer to talk with, and you can’t just walk away. Maybe it’s a college placement test after being out of college for 30 years and you can’t seem to remember basic math skills and suddenly feel like your really really ignorant.

opps..that was in my outdoor voice…yup..that is me..right now.

Whispers of ineptitude have been screaming at me. “How dare you go back to college?” “You know your dumb..you failed..again..a practice test.” “You know there are fresh high school kids way smarter then you doing this?”

Sigh. So I went to my prayer closet..that just so happens to be the local Planet Fitness, and went for a “brain drain prayer walk”. God and I had an audible conversation. I had no one near me (chosen that way on purpose) and I started talking to Jesus. I spent the first half of the mile just in worship..the mantra of yes God I do thank you..over and over. Sometimes it takes awhile for my spirit to catch up to the brain.

I began to focus on His love for me..instead of my love for Him. See how that flipped? I quit being so focused on my un met needs and started to see all He has accomplished for me. I know I am week. I know it’s been 30 + year since I was in a college class. However, in those weaknesses I know from all my past failures God is and will be working. This is the place miracles can happen! Gods strength shows up! Oh I start getting excited over that. What more possibly can God do through me?

I think He allows those frustrations to get our attention. For instance, when I was a little girl and my sisters and I would be together, we could never stand still..we were always bumping into each other..hip to hip..shoulder bumps..a touch here..a touch there. Yes, I think God does that to us. Guiding us through this world and all the frustrations that come with it!

Whispers of Another Whisper

September 1st 1990. Thirty years ago, we said we would love, cherish, honor, and yes obey. What a day. It was a beautiful day. Sunshiney, and busy, and full of laughter, and smiles. I was able to see family I had not seen in a long time. I spent the night before with my sister. I don’t remember what we talked about, but it was so wonderful to have her with me. To share in that day. The only one of my siblings to be with me. Whispers in the dark of what might be in my future and the joy of facing that with someone I loved.

In just a week i had pulled together all that was needed. A beautiful dress, three amazing bridesmaids. The grooms men, yeah that was easy, bothers. My sweet soft giant of a young man was surrounded by his family. This was the beginning of 26 years of love, tears, joy unimaginable, pain unimaginable.

When I think of this day so many years ago, I could tick the boxes of history in a nano second..much faster then typing them out. Through every mountain top, jungle terrain, dry desert land, ocean swamped beach, to the rapids of a river, I know that God walked every step with us. Sharing quiet intimit nights as we fell asleep, to the rukus of 3 toddlers destroying a clean house in a blink of an eye, we stood together.

The whispers that flood my mind each night have been my constant companion of late. They are carried on the wings of memories. They ride with voice of the kids. They show up when I walk into certain stores, or when I smell a certain scent. The shadow of a whisper carries through an old movie we watched snuggled up as a family or out together on a rare date night. Some days I want to stop the flood of whispers rushing through me – yet at times I cry myself to sleep for not hearing those whispers.

6 years, 2 months. 30 wedding anniversaries…. I am still here. I still cling to the promise of my Savior. I do not walk this road alone. Neither do you. The Spirit of God is calling me. He walks with me – He talks with me – He calls me His own.