When I think of that word unrest, it makes me cringe. It makes me think of what other people think of me. The fact that since 2012 I have moved 7 times, in 7 years does not help. I am also cringing as the thought in my head is, maybe I should move again. I know- throw your hands up and scream “why?” At me. To answer that question I would look at you and say “why not?”
I can’t seem to get through Instagram or Facebook without getting insanely jealous. I see people happy, I see exotic places everyone took their summer vacations at. I see couples in love. I see children playing with their families. This list goes on.
Not only did my husband die, but all of my dreams died with him. All of my fun, laughter, energy died. My whole purpose in life has been to house my kids and provide for them. However and whatever that took. I have sacrificed me on the table of my life for my kids. They won’t ever see it. They won’t ever acknowledge It. I don’t want them to, as I never did it for that reason. I did it because I love them and want them to follow God more than anything.
I am sure most of you get the whispers of jealousy now and again. How could you not in the world of social media and increase in knowledge. What used to be considered gossip is now front page news and posted on social sites. What was thought to be nonsense behavior is herald as greatness of character. The world is so upside down.
This great country (USA) is built on freedom and freedom of speech. However, the contradictory times we live in make this so very difficult. There is no gate keeper on our mouths anymore, there is no filter. Say what you want, it is your right. But it is not your right to hurt others and belittle and beat people down. There is no law that prevents this other than the Bible.
Discontentment, unrest, is whispering to me. I will have to deal with it..however, I am always at at the mercy of my Father in heaven. I want to be free to go where and when He says go. If my being here is a short time, then so be it. Bring it on – show the way!