Whispers That Hold Tight

Psalm 46:5  “God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.” 

Psalm 91:14-16  “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation.” 

Summer has been long, hot and dry. I was not made for this heat. I melt. I would much rather have cold, good frigid air and sunny skies, then this yucky stifling, thick nasty heat. This old house does not do well with heat. The old windows, I can’t open. There is not enough insulation to keep any cool air in. The sun beats in and creates a horrid feel. This frustrates me. I can do nothing to change any of it. My income is limited and fixed. Being disabled puts so much restriction on my income, but without it, there is no way I could have a permanent house. With now 2 in college, I am blessed to be breathing.

Mentally this summer has been challenging from all sides. The snide snarky comments that come from the pits and come through my “adult” children, have pushed me to my very limits this summer. I have been told in no uncertain terms that I live my life wrong, and that I embarrass them beyond belief. Oh well. Most of the time, I don’t let it bother me. I know they have no clue what they are saying. I just try and worship God and keep moving forward. I have, and continue to, receive parenting advice from all sides. I hear this more now that I am a single parent. Oh well…those who speak, I know will have the same judgement I have.

Physically I have been challenged as the few hours I work, every day, are full of frustration. My left hand is trying to go backwards on the healing road,  and I have less and less feeling in it, and more and more pain. This makes working on a keyboard very difficult and painful. But I keep pressing on..I know not what else to do. God will heal..in His time. I work hard not to complain.

When I pause and look at the “honey do list”, my heart squeezes in pain and anger. My breath gets caught in my chest and tears jump to the corners of my eyes. I can’t believe I have to live like this. My husband would not allow us to live like this. He helped me so much! He was always fixing, sorting, mowing, cleaning, reparing.  He always had my back through all of my physical limits.  Now, My house looks terrible!! I can only do so much, the rest, I guess I have to live with.

Understand this..I outlined above a circumstance. I am in no way complaining. My lot..my path. I say all of this to say– God has put me here. He will take care of me. He will provide for me. He has a plan for me. He has promised good things and a great future. I will continue to do a few things. 1. Press into Him. Continue to pursue Him. I look for Him in all the simple and humble ways. 2. Rejoice and praise Him! He is so worthy of praise and gratitude and worship. 3. Keep looking up. My reward is not here on earth. I am in no way to live my life according to everyone telling me how and where and when to live. Nope, not even my kids. I have had many people tell me over the years how I should live my life. Nope.. see that’s the thing…it is MY life..not theirs. I must be doing something right as I am so very blessed!!

I spend time on my knees in worship and communion with my Daddy. I have the most precious times in fellowship with Him. My prayer list for people is long, there are so many needy people. I hold so tight to His hand.

The Spirit Whispers – “hold on”, “Peace My child”, “Remember…”, “I love you”.

These whispers mean the world to me. If I could, and I am working hard at it, I want to change my future. To never be in this position again. To learn my lessons from God, one trial at a time. Is that reality? Is this to say that God did this to me?? NO!! NO! NO! God is with me, even in the dry valley under a tree, even in the fishes mouth, even in the deep pit, even in the lions den.

I knew the minute Carl went into the arms of Jesus. I knew that life would never be the same again. That I would have to forge new ways of thinking, new ways of following God’s plan. BUT God- I am still standing! I am holding tight to the One Who knows me best, Who loves me best!! I will keep putting one foot in front of another! I will see victory one day!

Psalm 46:5 Psalm 91:14-16

Author: thewidowwomanblog

I am a 53 year old widow who is watching her kids step out into life while holding tight to the Creator's hand.

6 thoughts on “Whispers That Hold Tight”

  1. Another inspiring blog, Wendy! I can relate to most of it, though you have 3 kids, 2 in college and I do not. I can hear the frustration and disappointment in your words, but then you come through with the Word of God and your reliance on Him. Perfect!

    Sometimes, dear friend, you just need to cut yourself some slack. Recently I was in a very frustrated, angry place about where I am in my life and what the future holds, as there are far fewer years ahead than there are behind. God inspired me with this thought: Don’t do ANY of those things on your project list. None of them. You don’t think you’ll be moving this year, so stick with the original target date we set together, and do all the work then, as it will help sell the house. In the meantime, rejoice in the fact you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in the kitchen, and just enjoy my creation.

    That has been a marvelously freeing message! So, when being a single mom (ditto) and a worker (ditto) and a home-maintenance-is-my-problem woman (ditto), when all of that gets overwhelming, maybe just cut yourself some slack and say “Lord, do I have to do this right now?” You’ll undoubtedly get an answer.

    I wear a stamped metal bracelet I made in a class at our local library. It has two lines. Looks like this:

    HELP THANKS WOW
    G H M B

    The Help, Thanks, Wow are my three favorite prayers. Help, when I need God’s immediate guidance, and it reminds me He is NOT too busy to be “bothered with my petty concerns” because He loves m. The “Thanks” is thanking Him for his reply and guidance. And the WOW, ah, the WOW. That’s because I ask for a small thing and He always delivers above and beyond what I with my finite mind ask for, and exactly what is needed at the time! 1 Corinthians 2:9 “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
    nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” That’s the WOW.

    GHMB is a God-inspired mantra I was given while sitting in the class, trying to decide what to put on the bracelet. It stands for God Has My Back. He always does. Whether it’s when I am looking at my meager finances, or thinking of my future, or wondering about the lives of my son and his family, GHMB. If I have a decision to make, GHMB. If I need to fix something in the house, or think I do, GHMB. No matter what it is, who says it, GHMB.

    Know that you are an inspiration. Know it will all work out. Take some time to rest and regroup, and just sit in a chair, or recline in bed and rejoice in the knowledge that GHMB!

    Like

  2. You know your God, you cling to His word. You have victory one day at a time. Sometime we may fail here or there but at the end of the day, we’re still holding to His hand and better yet, He well never let us go. Praying for your peace and strength.

    Like

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