Oh the drama! Oh the stuff! Drama is just not my thing. When life gets crazy, I get really really quiet. It is radio silent. I don’t talk much. I for sure don’t talk about anything important. I go into hyper sensitive mode. I listen deeply to those around me. I listen to more music, I read more books. I stop writing. This makes me sad, but it is my coping tool.
During these last few weeks, life has dropped drama into my home. Work issues, teenage stuff, car stuff and of course, financial crisis. I began a long over due melt down. I began anxiety break outs. I think of it like an acne attack on a teenager right before prom. Anxiety is such a vicious thing to deal with. Oh those whispers seem to be screaming.
I am so thankful that along this lonely journey there is a time of restoration, even a resurrection of sorts. A day most of the world calls Easter, I call it a day of remembrance. To remember the cruelty of the cross and the victory of the grave. I would not be who I am today. I would have no hope, no reason, no faith in humans nor of a future without the events marked in history so long ago.
The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead dwells in me. I find power. I find strong ability. I find clarity of mind. I grasp onto that..holding tight and firm. There is something that begins to whisper to me, it wells up from deep inside. It is golden. It is true.
God has a future for me. Help me be who you want me to be. I want to be ready!