Whispers of the Night

The canopy of starts light the sky, with traces of white sweeping across the apex of the sky. A meteor floats across my vision. The cool breeze carries the hint of a pleasant, deep flower smell an earthy scent with a hint of fresh cut grass. The jingle of the night crickets radiate across the yard. “Not again” I muss to my self. This strange new life is niggling at me. It pulls from each direction. It threatens to exploded apart like a dying star. 

I long to rest my head and my weary body. 

I wonder how I could be this tired. I really didn’t do anything today. Yeah me, I did the dishes. Again. Yup. That’s it. I took a nap, wait maybe that’s why I can’t sleep. Oh well, tomorrow I go into my office. I will work tomorrow. 

For now, the whispers from the darkness cloud my mind. I begin to question my own worth. Who am I? I Am not a good mom, look at all the problems my kids have. How can I manage other people’s finances when I can’t manage my own. Evil whispers. They pull, they fight for dominance. 

This cycle of grief keeps whispering. This whisper of depression keeps drifting in from all over. I used to be so confident. I used to know my way, my goals, my dreams. Wait. Can I get that back? 

Jeremiah 8:18 NLT.   My grief is beyond healing; my heart is broken. 

Whispers of delight in my Savior begin to appear like the multitude of stars. Hope grabs hold of promises and together faith is born! 

Psalms 35:5 NLT. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth.

John 14:21 NLT. Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them. 

Hang on, Joy comes in the morning! I like to rephrase that. Joy comes in the mourning. With great mourning comes great rejoicing. God has not forgotten me. God has not forgotten you. 
Credit to my photographer friend William Duggan at William Duggan Photography (he is on Facebook!) for this amazing photo!!

Author: thewidowwomanblog

I am a 53 year old widow who is watching her kids step out into life while holding tight to the Creator's hand.

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