Whispers and more Whispers

Anxiety. Panic. What does that mean to you?

Anxiety.   Panic.  What does that mean to you? I stay busy to keep those whispers away. Listing each and every one seems to give those words power. These last few nights have been hard. The whispers were so loud I felt them physically. Have you been there? Have you wondered how could someone really feel like that? 

Each step I take there seems to be a huge out cry. Let me explain. When I had to move after the funeral, I had no where to go. Only one person stepped up. They did their best, I did mine. It was not working. Where do we go. Many voices spoke out, many more whispers in and out of my mind. A large step of faith, a move to Michigan. God opened doors. Part of my now divided family had to give even more words to add to the whispers. Anxiety creeper that it is, began in waves. I spent so much time listening for direction. Weeding out the whispers of panic. More family with voices demanding to be heard. 

Then Ohio opened up. A house. Just what we need. A place no one can say don’t do this. Family near by. Panic whispers. You know what that terrible demon says, “you can’t”, “you will fail”. God speaks loud, “fallow Me”. I argued. “At what cost? What do I get out of this?” A powerful whisper comes flooding my heart. “Trust Me”. 

So the cost has been great. Both financially, emotionally, and yes even spiritually. When panic whispers, I turn to worship. When anxiety whispers in, I worship. When my physical condition gets worse, I hold to the promise of the cross. Did Jesus sacrifice for me? Or did he make an offering and walked away without a complete sacrifice? Is the cross complete, or are there whispers that there are holes left in the cross?

Author: thewidowwomanblog

I am a 53 year old widow who is watching her kids step out into life while holding tight to the Creator's hand.

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